BSA 104 (Scriptwriting) Week 14 : Big Text
In class today we learned about writing effective big print for screenplays (descriptive bits/ the parts that aren't dialogue, basically most of what a script is made up of).
It's a logical evolution of treatment writing, where the focus is placed solely on describing events and actions, rather than going into detail on what the characters say (something that was a difficulty for me considering how heavily my short film focuses on dialogue and character interactions).
We were tasked with re-writing the example below:
FADE IN:
EXT. COTTAGE BY A RIVER - DAY
OPEN WITH: a wide shot of a 1984 blue Honda Civic entering frame and approaching a derelict cottage next to a river. We see the Honda parking in front of the house and a 40-year-old plain clothes cop, TODD RAMSAY (40), a man with a drinking problem and a string of bad relationships, gets out of the car and approaches the cottage nervously because he is afraid of booby traps.
CUT TO:
INT. COTTAGE - DAY
Slow track in to see him opening the door. Close-up of his face as he reacts in horror at the sight of something that is obviously the most horrific sight he has experienced in over 25 years of policing the Gore district. Slow track in to the body of an old man, Trevor McIntosh (75), lying face down in the hallway. Pan up and down bloodstains everywhere in the hallway. Todd flips Trevor over to see his face.
Suddenly, Todd hears some ticking from a highly sophisticated Blackwater Inc. motion-sensitive timebomb planted underneath Trevor's body. He tries to defuse the bomb, but too late - fate has some grisly intentions for him.
CUT TO: extreme close-up of Todd's eyes before he explodes.
CUT TO BLACK.
FADE IN:
EXT. COTTAGE BY A RIVER - DAY
OPEN WITH: a wide shot of a 1984 blue Honda Civic entering frame and approaching a derelict cottage next to a river. We see the Honda parking in front of the house and a 40-year-old plain clothes cop, TODD RAMSAY (40), a man with a drinking problem and a string of bad relationships, gets out of the car and approaches the cottage nervously because he is afraid of booby traps.
CUT TO:
INT. COTTAGE - DAY
Slow track in to see him opening the door. Close-up of his face as he reacts in horror at the sight of something that is obviously the most horrific sight he has experienced in over 25 years of policing the Gore district. Slow track in to the body of an old man, Trevor McIntosh (75), lying face down in the hallway. Pan up and down bloodstains everywhere in the hallway. Todd flips Trevor over to see his face.
TODD
Oh my god. It’s Trevor.
Suddenly, Todd hears some ticking from a highly sophisticated Blackwater Inc. motion-sensitive timebomb planted underneath Trevor's body. He tries to defuse the bomb, but too late - fate has some grisly intentions for him.
TODD
OMG - I’m going to blow up!
CUT TO BLACK.
And now...Proudly Presenting My Revised ext:
Apart from the Shakespearean turn at the end, there is some very vivid and effective big print writing in there! :-) Thoughts and reflections on the process?
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